LJ Correspondent Issues Communique from Secret, Undisclosed Location

[akujunkan]

Namely, my new apartment

Which is really much in the way of rocking, as I have realised that shaded, unopenable windows = my being able to walk around naked all the time. Yay, naked! This is of the greatest benefit when one considers that only one of three rooms is air conditioned, and the windows in the un-air conditioned rooms don't open.

I really, really really wish I could get the damn windows open. But if not, at least I can keep my clothes off.


I'm Addicted To Bengay

No, really. I was chilling at a friend's apartment when she mentioned that she'd bought some Bengay for use on a sports injury, but that it hadn't done a damn thing.

Having never seen a tube of Bengay outside of stand-up comedy routines, I asked if I could, like, see it or something. The friend happily acquiesed.

"Here, put some of it on," she said. "See if it does anything for you."

So I popped open the tube and slathered a handful of the stuff on. Nothing much happened, aside from me smelling like a tube of Colgate.

"Yeah," she said, "It doesn't work at all."

So we went outside to her balcony to drink wine. And then all of a sudden I was on FIRE. Take it from me, my friends, when it comes to full-on menthalation, Bengay does not fuck around.

So now I'm addicted to Bengay. I can't get enough of it! You wouldn't believe how enjoyable a mundane task like paying one's electric bill becomes if conducted while experiencing a delightful whole-body tingling sensation Thank you, Bengay.


That will be all.

Comments

[tikisan.livejournal.com]

so now you can run around naked with bengay slathered all over your body?

[akujunkan.livejournal.com]

so now you can run around naked with bengay slathered all over your body?

That's the long and short of it, basically. :-)

[tikisan.livejournal.com]

Now all you need is a dancing monkey! :-P

I'm guessing that you still have plants...are they going to get enough sunlight with the frosted windows?

[akujunkan.livejournal.com]

Now all you need is a dancing monkey! :-P

Or a dancing midget. Those were all the rage in first century AD Rome. Or so I hear.

And yup, I still have plants; they're on my balcony right now but I have no idea what I'll do when winter comes. Maybe I'll try taking them to work. I wonder if you can buy growth lights in Japan.

[shoebucket.livejournal.com]

well, at least now we know what to send in a care package.... if we ever had your address...

[fragilistikal.livejournal.com]

Rawrrr, menthol.

And what, you've never used it on a sprain? (My family's cure for everything: menthol rubs/packs/towlettes.)

And then of course, acupuncture. xDDDD NEEEEDLES GOING INTO MY HEAD.

[akujunkan.livejournal.com]

And what, you've never used it on a sprain?

Nope. My family doesn't go in for medicine. It wasn't until college that I usedasprin, and then I usually forgot that I had the stuff till the headache was over, anyway.

And ooh, I've always wanted to try acupuncture. It looks so cool. Now moxy sticks, OTOH...

[fragilistikal.livejournal.com]

Oh, acupuncture is the best. The worst sprained ankle I ever got -- caused by a kid running over my foot -- went down in three days after I went to an acupuncturist. Well, after letting it swell up twice its size and go purple for a few weeks... ^^;

But beware of the acupuncturist warning you of letting out "bad blood," which involves a nifty little pin and about a dozen vicious little jabs when you least expect it... (Yeah, I'm still a little bitter about that. ^^;)