I *suppose* it's better than discovering you're on the "no fly" list...

[akujunkan]

...or, Homeland Security sure is a piece of work.

As it happens, I currently find myself teaching assistant to a group of 36 Japanese undergraduates on a study tour of the United Nations Headquarters. RU is a cheap, cheap bastard of an institution, so instead of sticking us on the direct flight to NYC, they had us doing three flights over a total of 27 hours of nonstop travel. We cleared customs in Detroit, and as the flight from Narita was filled with about 260-odd Japanese, Koreans, Chinese, Vietnamese, and me, all bets were off that I'd make it through customs first.

The CBP guy manning the citizens line was extremely friendly and pleasant, which made the questions he was asking me--in the "Where are you from?" vein--all the more incongruous. The close inspection of my passport and abnormally large amount of data entry going on in the background also struck me as ominous. I was right in these suspicions.

"Well," he finally said. "We have you down here as a Japanese citizen."

"...Erm," I said at last. "I do have a Japanese visa?"

"You don't have a Japanese passport as well, or anything?"

"No," I told him. "I promise I'm not from Japan."

"Yeah," he said with a sardonic smile. "I can kinda tell just by looking at you, honky.

"Don't worry about it," he continued, tapping away at his computer. "It happens sometimes."

tap tap tap

"There we go. You're an American again!"

"Cheers," I told him, and left before he could change his mind.

So there you have it, ladies and gentlemen, Homeland Security at work.


And in gratitude for the above, I decided to do for my country. Because, during the 20 or so minutes in which the question of my nationality was being sorted out, multiple calls had being going out (and being ignored) over the PA asking for a Japanese translator. So once I was firmly reestablished in the eyes of the TSA as American, I went over and offered to become a Japanese translator. And that is how I spent the next 20 or so minutes pro bonoing for the CBP, helping Japanese people clear customs.

Although I split as soon as calls started going out over the PA for Korean speakers.


That will be all.

Comments

[theosakakoneko.livejournal.com]

wtf HAHAHA random!

(And so much easier than all the work that Debito did! XD)

[dark-waterlily.livejournal.com]

I was worried when I read:
"Well," he finally said. "We have you down here as a Japanese citizen."
I thought the FBI, and other agencies where going to appear, anime style, and take you away ;_;

but then:

"There we go. You're an American again!"

I almost chocked at this part... it's like I am seeing the whole experience in my mind.

[shoebucket.livejournal.com]

Gives whole new meaning to that song by the Vapors.

[metal-dog5.livejournal.com]

akujunkan, you never cease to amaze me with the tales of your life. Is there any earth-logic based reason why any US government department would decide you're Japanese? I mean aside from living over there on a number of occasions.

[cienna.livejournal.com]

That is kind of HILARIOUS. And disturbing at the same time...