Apropos of some convos I've had recently...

[akujunkan]

...with several of you on the flist, American arrested in Japan for kidnapping own children.

Obviously, I feel horribly for the former couple's children. That said, here's a 38-year-old man who divorced his Japanese wife in January and has already replaced her with another. Anyone who has spent time in Asia will already know where my sympathies lie concerning this dispute.

That will be all.

Comments

[theosakakoneko.livejournal.com]

It's a tough case. I don't know the right decision. But I feel for the father. I have of course spent time in Asia, but I still don't think I side entirely with the mother (or, well, with either, but still). I dunno...the mere fact that he was married to a Japanese woman doesn't mean that we can judge him as just another Asiaphile who just wanted a Japanese girlfriend. Any more than I hope people wouldn't judge me as someone who exoticises black culture, or ANYONE who happens to marry someone a different color than them. Besides, it doesn't even say whose decision the divorce was, and we can't know anything about their relationship. Could be that the guy's an asshole who just wanted to marry a sweet geisha girl, found out Japanese girls (gasp) have personalities too, and abused her and left her. Could also equally likely be that she turned out to be a huge bitch and was just using him for the green card. ;) Most likely it's neither, and they just didn't work out, like any other couple (the majority of couples, in the long run). In which case, SUCKS to be her, because when you have primary custody, you're not allowed to move over 50 miles from your ex if he still has partial, so you can't hinder his visitation, and that must suck, being stuck in one place...especially someplace like TN. Especially if it means you can't go home, EVER. But that's the risk she ran when she moved to America, got married, had kids, and then applied for primary custody. She made that choice. Unless her plan from the beginning was to ignore American laws and just run, like she ended up doing. I'm sorry, but I don't have overwhelming sympathy for her. I do have sympathy - the same as I have for my coworker who's in much the same situation, tied to Detroit for the foreseeable future because her (black, btw, so which one of them was doing the exoticising, if anyone who reads this is one of those unfortunate souls who only see interracial relationships in that light...?) ex-husband lives here and she has primary custody of their son. It's a sucky situation. It's a sucky situation for pretty much anyone from Japan (or probably any foreign country) who moves here and gets married and has kids.

I guess I just don't see how we can take any sides in this case without painting the people involved into some pretty boxy boxes that they may not actually fit in very well based on precious little information about them and their relationship.

[theosakakoneko.livejournal.com]

Actually, reading more about it, I'm left with more doubt...the Yahoo news report you linked didn't mention that they'd lived in Japan for most of their lives and are Japanese citizens, and even the father is a naturalized citizen. I wonder - does he still keep his US citizenship?? The Yahoo article had it worded very much such that they were Americans, and made it seem like she'd moved here and they'd lived here, but I guess they only moved back to the US in January. In this case I feel quite different. Still a difficult case, but...now I probably side more with the mother.

[akujunkan.livejournal.com]

Yeah, sorry, that was my fault for only linking to the Yahoo article above. I'd been reading a lot about the case in U.S. and Japanese news media both, and didn't consider how much the Yahoo article omitted. You made good points in your original post and I too don't think it's a good idea to generalise from this situation on to all inter-racial, -cultural, or -national relationships.

That said, what set my warning bells off and made me take such a dim view of the whole thing in my post is that although the family had been based in Japan for close to a decade and all members held Japanese citizenship, Savoie relocated to the U.S., started (U.S.) divorce proceedings within a month of his wife and the children's arrival, and was remarried to another woman a month after the divorce was finalised. I get the feeling from the timing that Savoie had a handle on the issues surrounding divorce and custody proceedings in American-Japanese international marriage, which is why out of the two of them, my sympathy lies with his former wife, who according to the Japanese press (at least) had never intended to become a permanent U.S. resident, and who according to released court documents was having a very difficult time adjusting.

That said, international law in generally is still woefully unequipped to handle issues of residency, custody, and visitation surrounding international divorce, and it's going to take smarter minds than mine to figure out some answers.

[theosakakoneko.livejournal.com]

I think it's a shame that the judge in their case was so short-sighted. It's pretty clear that he only moved back to the US and had her come back with the kids so that he could trap them here. It's pretty disgusting. The kids and mother clearly belong in Japan. It's not like a 3rd world country we have to save them from...so sad that the judge made the decision he did to keep them here.

Once I know all the details, this story is disgusting. But even more disgusting is the way it's being treated in American news, calling him an American (is he even a citizen anymore?) and focusing on her abducting them back to Japan. Most of the articles I read were much more similar to the Yahoo news article than the actual truth.

[ontogenesis.livejournal.com]

CNN. Well, he was naturalized, and the kids had Japanese passports, *and* he listed his permanent address as Tokyo. So that is definitely going to hurt him in this case. Most courts would probably rule it's in the best interests of the children to be raised in the country they were born in and have lived in for the longest.

MSNBC.

Also, who the heck gets remarried A MONTH after a divorce? I think there's a reason that the mother was so pissed off at the father. He was probably have an affair (if not sexually, then at least emotionally).

Now I do hope that Japan becomes party to the Hague Convention. In this case, I feel more sympathy for the mother, but Japanese citizens must respect the laws of America and other countries.

[akujunkan.livejournal.com]

Also, who the heck gets remarried A MONTH after a divorce? I think there's a reason that the mother was so pissed off at the father. He was probably have an affair (if not sexually, then at least emotionally).
Yeah, the timeline was what really tripped my alarms, especially in light of the fact that this guy has held some pretty lofty positions in a few companies, which makes me think he probably had unequal access to lawyers who could advise him on how to get the most favorable outcome in divorce and custody proceedings.

I agree with you that laws need to be respected, but the problem is that everyone has to respect laws, and from what I've gathered in the Japanese press, the parents aren't even considered legally divorced in Japan. In cases like this, whose laws do you respect first?

And even if that weren't the case, how the hell do you resolve a situation like this not only legally, but ethically? Three years in Toyama almost killed me, and I was there willingly. I can't imagine what my mental state would have been had I gone there expecting a short-term stay only to find myself confronted with the choice of having to spend the rest of my life in the rural (sometimes foreigner-unfriendly) backwater of a foreign country in order to remain in my children's lives, or return to the country I consider my permanent home, but at the price of rarely or never seeing my children again. The whole situation just sucks.

Imbri thought hall narrowed like another which leads fed the mbc.

[(Anonymous)]

Happy New Year[url=http://sdjfh.in/flexpen/],[/url] everyone! :)