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Only one book this week, and one so bad it took me four months to buckle down and read it.

1) Artemis Fowl: Book 1 - Eoin Colfer
Judging by the bookstore displays, it's clear that the publisher of the Artemis Fowl was trying to position the it as the next Harry Potter. Like most of the "next Harry Potter" candidates, it is, predictably, a solidly horrible book. Even when Colfer's writing isn't obviously trying to imitate the worse aspects of JKR's style, it utterly lacks descriptive power, to say nothing of rhythm or poetry. The "characters" are one-dimensional placeholders for whatever emotional or physical trait, happy mistake, or deus ex machina Colfer needs to advance the "plot," which itself is little more than a flimsy pretext excusing Colfer's constant shit, shit-play, and vomit jokes. And yes, I use that language intentionally, because Colfer's brand of "humor" is indeed that brazenly scatalogical--and just as amusing. I frequently read books that might be enjoyed more by younger audiences than older (or vice versa), but it's rare that I come across a book I can't imagine possessing any redeeming characteristics for any reading demographic: this is one such book. Colfer's non-Fowl novels come to me highly recommended by a good friend; all I can say is that I hope they are better than this offering.

That will be all.

on 2008-11-24 10:01 am (UTC)
Posted by [identity profile] metal-dog5.livejournal.com
You did better than I did. I read less than a quarter of it before I returned it. I was incredibly bored by the little that I did read.

With all the shit & vomit references, I'd say the target audience is more likely to be 10-13 year old boys who don't read that much.

on 2008-11-25 08:08 am (UTC)
Posted by [identity profile] akujunkan.livejournal.com
Yes, boring is the correct word indeed, which is why I borrowed this volume as a "commute book" and why it took me so long to read it. The bare-bones storyline made it easy to keep track of what was going even while reading the thing in 15-minute segments, and the poor quality of writing made it easy to put it down and forget about after I arrived at work/school.

With all the shit & vomit references, I'd say the target audience is more likely to be 10-13 year old boys who don't read that much.

Bingo. But what Colfer et. al. seem to be missing is that that demographic can easily get much moar awesomely graphic shit & vomit funz on 4chan, so why the hell would they bother turning to a book for a pale comparison?

OMG... that sucks!

on 2008-11-25 02:52 am (UTC)
Posted by [identity profile] bran420-7.livejournal.com
I've read Airman and The Wish List and I enjoyed both. Guess my suspicion of HP wank was well founded. And BTW, Suzanne Collins' Hunger Games was so good I cried. IT'S BOOK ONE!!! NO!!!! Of course, I cried more after I was arrested. Up side, I read Anna Karenina. I now need a newer non-abridged version. The one I got my hands on was translated and abridged in 1963. Go KCJ! If only I could show you my rolling eyes...I shall post on the morrow...

Re: OMG... that sucks!

on 2008-11-25 08:10 am (UTC)
Posted by [identity profile] akujunkan.livejournal.com
Well, I will definitely be looking out for those books, because I trust your good taste, but please trust mine and stay away from AF.

That said, I think I might put Hunger Games first, since I enjoyed the first chapter you let me read.

Sounds good--I'll look for your post tomorrow. I MISS YOU GUYS!!!!!

Artemis Fowl

on 2008-11-28 01:39 am (UTC)
Posted by [identity profile] wombatdeamor.livejournal.com
I've looked through a lot of Colfer's stand alones, since Brandi recommends them so heavily, and they seem to read pretty well. So I'm going to have to read his other non AF books since news broke that Douglas's Adam's widow asked Eion Colfer to continue the Hitchhiker's Guide. Thankfully it won't be him writing as Douglas Adams, it's Eion Colfer playing in Adams' backyard with Adams' toys. I'll be reading his stand alones in the next few weeks. I just started Hunger Games myself and I like it so far. More on that. But your post reminded me that I loaned you the book Heck and it sounds like Artemis Fowl is a similarly bad to that. Just to forwarn you.

on 2008-11-28 06:41 am (UTC)

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