akujunkan: (Default)
[personal profile] akujunkan
And more with the food. [livejournal.com profile] firesign10 asked about coffee pudding and Pocari Sweat.

Here's a picture of a typical Japanese coffee pudding:



And here's some pocari sweat:



It's basically a gatorade-ish sports drink that claims to mimic the chemical composition of fluids within the human body (if I'm reading the copy correctly). It's also a pretty good barometer for judging the length of any given gaijin's exposure to Japan. People who have never been here are just confused. New arrivals or those whose stay has not exceeded six months think it's the funniest inappropriate name since Dick Trickle became a race car driver. It's a non-issue to people who've been here for a period of six months to one year, and anyone who's stayed over one year is addicted to the stuff, because it's the closest thing to bottled water one can buy cold from a combini or vending machine.

And speaking of being gaijin, man, was yesterday weird. Two friends and I had the day off, by virtue of having to go to work on Saturday for our schools' field days. We decided to spend it studying in the park.

We staked out a table and they set about studying Japanese while I set about studying Korean. (And can I say how much respect I have for Amanda, who is aiming to take 2kyuu this year after less than two years of Japanese? It makes me wish I'd taken my own years of studying more seriously.)

Anyway, there is an insane old man who hangs out in the park. He blings out like old school Flavah-Flav, then weds the flash with plaid flannel pants, women's high heeled sandals, a goth mesh overshirt, and a copper-bleach combover. He spends his afternoons hacking at random greenery with a (what I hope is dull) hand scythe.

There are also about three other old men who sit around every day feeding the pigeons. As we were studying, a new old man approached us, and after informing us that he was 「英語ペラペラ」 (which means 'fluent in Japanese' ::cough cough::), proceeded to be amazed that we were studying Japanese ourselves, and could actually speak it to varying degrees. Turns out that he was a science teacher from a middle school in the Big City, and so he trotted all his kids over to have eikaiwa with us, while informing them that he was 「英語ペラペラ」. The deliciously ironic moment was when his kids kept correcting his misapplications of English.

He eventually sent them off to do whatever, then lay down nearby to chainsmoke and nap until one of them came back and discovered him. They left, with much 'bai-bai bai-bai bai-bai bai-bai-ing' to us in true Japanese fashion.

But that was not the end of our adventures. Emboldened by the success of the science teacher, one of the old men came over to chat us up. He then proceeded to take Amanda's textbook and read about five pages of it to her.

"Yes, dude, we know you speak Japanese," Sara informed him.

He left, but then returned with his three friends, who ringed Sara and watched her study. They were certainly an eclectic group - about half of them were illiterate, and one of them had recently lost all but one of the fingers on his right hand; the bandages were still on.

Sara: ジル, how do I get them away from me??

Me: Don't be blonde.

Sara: ...................
        Fuck you.

Then crazy man came over. He sure took a shining to poor Amanda. And then even more old men kept coming over. And I mean kept, as if we were in some twisted computer game and they were spawning from the nearby pavillion.

I'd have to say the prime moment for me came when I looked up at Amanda (who has the 'sexy librarian' appearance down to a tee) to find her ringed by salivating Japanese octogenarians with a group of pigeons mating vigorously on the ground behind her. Words just cannot convey.

The men showed no signs of leaving, and as Amanda and Sara had a Japanese lesson (and I was a little uncomfortable doing Korean around them), we took off. But we certainly were the highlight of these guys' week. Oi.


That will be all.

on 2005-05-31 09:00 am (UTC)
Posted by [identity profile] amasugiru.livejournal.com
What is with old men and missing appendages? I had a group of three old men, one with a stump where his hand used to be, come up and harrass some friends and me. He poked my one friend with it until she caved in and "felt" it. It was uber gross.

What ever happened to all those kidnapping phone calls?

on 2005-06-01 03:07 am (UTC)
Posted by [identity profile] akujunkan.livejournal.com
Oh, yuck. I don't know whether to be saddened or relieved that this is a pan-prefectural phenomenon. And do these guys really think their stumps are just what's going to turn the ladies on?

AFAIK, the police are investigating the kidnapping threats, but no one's said anything else about them at morning meetings, and I'm too chicken to ask.

on 2005-05-31 01:06 pm (UTC)
Posted by [identity profile] firesign10.livejournal.com
OK, there are just some things that are never conveyed in the "Welcome to (wherever)" kits..."When spending time in the beautiful local parks, be sure to experience some curious interactions with the denizens of same...This is sure to be a fun-filled part of your stay, especially if you are female, blonde, younger than dirt, or any and all of the above!"

And the pigeons thing is just the (too funny) icing on the cake...

Thanks for the food pix! hehehe so my reaction to Pocari Sweat is par for the course then! :-)

on 2005-06-01 02:06 am (UTC)
Posted by [identity profile] ishuka.livejournal.com
scary... ~___~;;

on 2005-06-01 03:02 am (UTC)
Posted by [identity profile] akujunkan.livejournal.com
I know! They were essentially nice old men, but all the attention made us a little uncomfortable, all the same.

on 2005-06-01 02:47 pm (UTC)
Posted by [identity profile] sara-tanaquil.livejournal.com
And can I say how much respect I have for Amanda, who is aiming to take 2kyuu this year after less than two years of Japanese?

A sister in spirit! My two-year anniversary of studying Japanese will be this October, and I plan to take 2kyuu in December. I also plan to fail.

Nothing so interesting ever happens to me when I study in public places...

on 2005-06-05 02:58 pm (UTC)
Posted by [identity profile] wrenwyn.livejournal.com
You are not going to fail!!! What kind of a shining spirit of accomplishment are you for a slacker such as myself! You're going to pass, damn it!

[livejournal.com profile] akujunkan Hi There! I have to say that I'm impressed with how cooly you handled the situation with the old horde. One at a time, I'm sure they were probably fine, but as a group..I would have been very, very uncomfortable.

Maybe I watch to much CSI, but I would have had visions of them dragging my dead body away, and I would have left saying my Sumo wrestler husband was waiting for me.

(=^.^=)

Oh, btw, your photos of China were beautiful! I really enjoyed your travel stories; even though the tales of Shanghai were enough to blow the top of my head off with anger on your behalf!

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