On Toothpaste and Other Things that Rot Your Teeth

[akujunkan]

Ah, Japan. You are like no other country. Astute readers will remember how, after having more cavities in two years than the entire rest of my life, I happened to glance at my tube of Japanese toothpaste, only to discover that it contained sugar as a flavoring ingredient.

I have since bought two other tubes of Japanese toothpaste. None of them contain sugar. The first, however, is salt flavored. Yes, you read that correctly. Salt. It's like brushing one's mouth with sea water. Or having a hemorraghing lip, take your pick.　　"It tightens your teeth!" the copy reads. (PS: WTF?)

My second tube of toothpaste was normal in all respects. No sugar additives. No salt additives. So imagine my surprise upon finding, during its maiden brushing, that it was Nyquil-flavored. You know, that disgusting, cherry-vomit flavor they started adding to cough syrups in the 80s to stop kids from drinking them like candy (or alcohol)? Well, that's my toothpaste. Doubly ironic considering that the actual cough syrups its flavor is based on are illegal in Japan.

And that leads me to today's weird-ass purchase. First, some background. Japan doesn't really do toast. Sure, it's possible to make toast in this country, but considering the fact that 100 grams of jelly costs about $2.50, and that peanut butter doesn't exist, breakfast takes a decidedly spartan cast.

Or does it? The Japanese have loads of creams for their toast, none of which are sold in the West. And with good reason. I recently bought this:

Cute package, huh? The toast sure seems to think it's tasty. I'm glad someone does, because the contents are - and I am not joking - granulated sugar and crisco. The end.

So much for toast tomorrow morning. But on the bright side, I can use it to brush my teeth once my Nyquil tube runs out. Oi.

That will be all.

Comments

[firesign10.livejournal.com]

The toast sure seems to think it's tasty.
Yes it does! That's some happy-lookin' toast there!

I'm glad someone does, because the contents are - and I am not joking - granulated sugar and crisco.
And......eww! I know sometimes as I butter my toast I do think, hmm, smear a little fat on some bread, but I do think butter is tasty. Crisco, however, does not connote the same kind of buttery goodness...even WITH the sugar... :-P

The first, however, is salt flavored.
While not having used salt, I did for some time use baking soda as a toothpaste. The only drawback is the lack of additional fluoridation, and yes it does taste fairly salty. I did enjoy the very clean feeling afterwards, and I did get used to the taste.

In other weird toothpaste flavors, there is canine toothpaste, which is chicken flavor ("tastes like chicken!") and Mr Bear's toothpaste, a formula specifically for toddlers as they cannot use fluoridated toothpaste yet, is apple/banana. I tried it once just out of curiosity and clearly it's a toddler thing, because I was "ewwwwww" but he seems to like it!

Do you want a toothpaste care package?? and why is Nyquil illegal there?

*looks forward to teeth-brushing in a whole new way*

[akujunkan.livejournal.com]

Oh, I butter the dickens out of my toast before I put the jelly on, but this is a little different. I can actually feel my arteries clenching in pain when I bite into the bread. The sugar, I'm afraid, is just there to provide gritty texture (and to make my teeth tremble in fear).

I'm actually a fan of baking soda toothpaste, but this stuff is unfortunately table salt flavored. It's pretty gross.

I remember having toddler toothpaste - I'd got it at a birthday party or promotional thing at my montesory. I actually ate the whole tube cause it was candy flavored. Good thing it *didn't* have flouride in it!

[firesign10.livejournal.com]

ROTFL re:eating tube of toothpaste!!!

and.... ewwwwwwwwww with the grit factor...gritty fat.... :-p

I think everyone here is ready to send you some regular-type fluorid-y no-sugar-or-salt toothpaste! :-)

[fragilistikal.livejournal.com]

Ohhh yeah. Is it "Bamboo Salt" or somesuch? I went to Korea and lo and behold: only toothpaste in the house. Luckily, I brought my own tube.... Actually, I did try it once and non-enjoyable as it was, it seemed like an acquired taste. Not that bad once you get used to it...and once you stop using your tastebuds.

lol. please. I will send you some toothpaste is you're truly desperate. =)

And you seem like a person desperately in need of Nutella.

[akujunkan.livejournal.com]

No, it's table salt. The tightening action of the salt is supposed to prevent gingivitus and plaque buildup, and it's the latter bits I paid attention to when examining the package in the store. Beats me if it really works though.

It is an acquired taste, and one that I am working hard to acquire, given the fact that I spent enough on the tube. I may just take you up on that toothpaste offer;)

[fragilistikal.livejournal.com]

It is an acquired taste, and one that I am working hard to acquire, given the fact that I spent enough on the tube. I may just take you up on that toothpaste offer;)

LoL, anytime. People in the house seemed to really like it, so you never know. =)

[fragilistikal.livejournal.com]

And actually, remembering: people used to just use salt as a teeth-cleaning agent, I think. Put some on their finger and swoooosh.

[metal-dog5.livejournal.com]

It is an acquired taste

I used to brush my teeth with salt (without toothpaste) on a regular basis, and never was bothered by it. But then I eat Vegemite, so what the hell would I know? ^_~

[akujunkan.livejournal.com]

I don't know about the Vegemite, never having eaten it, but are there real health benefits to salt-as-toothpaste? This is all so new to me. ::languid sigh::

[xsmoonshine.livejournal.com]

Hiya, surfing in from friendsfriends. The salt is supposed to brighten/lighten your teeth - that's what the dentist said during ny last visit. Probably a typo. =)

[akujunkan.livejournal.com]

Good theory, except for the fact that there's no English on the packaging, so when it says 'tightens,' it means 'tightens.' It may whiten as well for all I know, but I'd be happier if it just tasted better!

[shoebucket.livejournal.com]

what's your mailing address?

[ishuka.livejournal.com]

It's like brushing one's mouth with sea water.

oi...

But on the bright side, I can use it to brush my teeth once my Nyquil tube runs out.

::thud::