"You Are Making This Hard For Me, DoCoMoFo"

[akujunkan]

A brief life vingette, presented in script format.

Moi: (Monologue) "I really want a new keitai. And as much as DoCoMoFo sucks, there are reasons for maintaining my current contract and phone number with them. Maybe I'll take a stroll down to Yamada Denki today to see about getting a sexy new phone with my same old contract."

Moi: ::strolls stage right toward Yamada Denki. Finds sexy new phone. Discovers that it is only $100 for people who have never had a contract with DoCoMoFo before.::

Moi: (Monologue) "Excellent! This is a sweet phone with a great camera, an mp3 player, television reception, video calling, and optical and USB data transmission capabilities. It's tiny and sexy. And if it's this cheap for new contractors, it must be a steal for people who've already used DoCoMoFo for several years, like I have!"

Moi: ::Asks lady behind the counter how much it will cost to switch to sexy new phone.

DCMoFo Attendent: "Well, that would depend on how long you've had a contract with us."

Moi: "Over 18 months continuously, 30 months in total."

DCMoFo Attendent: "Okay, in that case, switching to this phone will cost $300. But with the 18+ month user discount, it will only be $271."

Moi: ::boggles::

Moi: "Even though it would be cheaper for me to cancel my service and recontract?"

DCMoFo Attendent: "Yes. ... Oh, would you want to keep the same number?"

Moi: "Yes, of course."

DCMoFo Attendent: "Okay, that's going to cost about another $70. Plus you'll also need to buy a new charger."

Moi: "What about the charger I already have?"

DCMoFo Attendent: "You have to buy a new one regardless. That will be another $8.40. Plus you'll have to pay to a start-up fee for the new phone, plus you'll have to pay a fee to disconnect the battery on the old phone, plus a fee to..."

Moi: ::boggles::

Moi: "Okay, thanks. I'm going to go buy a new 300 gigabyte hard drive for my computer instead. It's cheaper. See ya, suckers."

Moi: ::buys new 300 gigabyte hard drive for computer.::

-fin-


That will be all.

Comments

[ishuka.livejournal.com]

Moi: ::buys new 300 gigabyte hard drive for computer.::

that would be a dream-come-true for me ::sighhh:: (given that the computer is working properly ^^;;)

[akujunkan.livejournal.com]

Oh, it's amazing. I haven't even put anything on it yet. I can't quite believe that it's actually as big as it says it is...