Think Japanese is Bad?
Jan. 19th, 2005 09:39 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
akujunkanJust try learning English. Or even teaching it.
I play hockey/golf/football.
I do karate/tae kwon do/aikido.
I ski/swim/snowboard.
"Why?" comes the cry of my agonised students.
"Because that's just how English works," comes my agonised response.
I had a whole bunch of really, really nifty ideas for lj entries asault me right during the Great LJ Failure of '05, which, cruel fate, occurred on my Saturday morning. It's amazing how much one gets done when one's favorite source of entertainment is suddenly yanked out from beneath them. OTOH, my house is a total pit now, because once LJ got back online, I haven't done much else with my hour of free time each evening.
And now, Let's Enjoying the Japanese Life Together productions brings you The Modem Saga.
As some of you know, I am trying to get connected to Yahoo BB. I started the application process in early November. Cleverly, YBB arranged for my modem to be delivered the day after I left Japan for the States. As Japanese postal workers have a nasty habit of leaving undelivered parcels on the ground outside the apartment building of the addressee, I had a well-founded fear that my modem was about to become the property of someone who didn't deserve it, a la my Christmas gifts last year. So I arranged for a friend to monitor the sidewalk outside my apartment building for its delivery.
Of course, YBB is wise to the ways of the Japanese postal worker, and arranges for private couriers to deliver their modems. My friend grabbed the delivery slip. But woe, YBB modems are to be returned to their source if they aren't retrieved in two weeks from the attempted delivery date. In practical life terms, this means that my beautiful modem would have come and gone ten days before I made it back into Japan.
Luckily, my friend had a Japanese coworker call the courier service and explain my situation to them. (And what an effort it must have taken for this non-Japanese enabled friend to explain my situation to his functionally non-English enabled teacher. After all, the Japanese mind is not capable of processing such things as "No, it's not my modem. It's a friend's, she just can't pick it up now." But I digress.) The courier service agreed to redeliver my modem eight days after my return to Japan, and not a day before. This was irksome, because I'd been paying for the service since mid-December, and wouldn't actually get to use it for over a month.
Unfortunately, my friend told me the modem was being held at the post office. So on my second day back in the country, I took time off of work to march down, with stars in my eyes, to the post office, which closes at 3pm each day (the standard work day is over at 5pm), to retrieve my modem. The woman behind the counter didn't know what I was talking about. "We only hold mail for two weeks," she told me.
"Yes, but this is a special case. A teacher called and asked you to hold it longer."
"Do you have a delivery slip?"
"No, my friend's got it; he's currently on vacation." (It's here that I begin to worry about how sketchy I must sound.)
"Well, you're a teacher; what school do you work at?"
And damnation, I've named my school and fallen into her little trap before I realise it's been set for me. Remember, my friend had a teacher call the post office and explain my situation. Neither my friend, nor his teacher, works at my school.
The woman behind the counter says as much to me. "Do you know the name of the teacher who called?"
"No," I say. "My friend didn't say what it was." My sketchiness index has just shot through the roof. Remember, the Japanese mind is not capable of processing such things as "No, it wasn't my coworker. It was a friend's, who called for my sake." But I digress again.
So she called my Vice Principal, who knew nothing about this situation at all, and who will surely put me through the 3rd degree about it when I return. Remember, the Japanese mind is not capable of...you get the picture. I beat a hasty retreat from the post office.
Anyway, I ask my friend for clarification, and this is when he mentions that the courier service has the modem. But at least I now have a delivery date, courier name, and tracking number to gird myself with before reentering the fray.
Well, the delivery date came, and the delivery date went. Three days afterward, I gave the courier service a call. They had no clue what I was talking about. I gave them the tracking number. They had no clue what I was talking about. I explained my situation. They had no clue what I was talking about. Finally, it's explained that the modem was sent back to YBB after two weeks, as per policy.
"But you agreed to hold it until I returned back to Japan," I said. "I have the delivery date and tracking number right here."
"Yes, but it is policy to send the modem back after two weeks. You must talk to Yahoo BB."
So the next day I talk to Yahoo BB. I'm told to email them three separate identification numbers, my phone number, email address, name, and postal address. I do.
The next day I receive an email to the effect that two of the three identification numbers, my phone number, email address, and name are incorrect. The politely request that I resend the correct information.
I find a different set of identification numbers. I find the correct phone number (my not-yet-connected Yahoo BB phone number, not my bona fide reach-me-here phone number). I state that this is my email address, and that my 'name,' as they have it, is woefully misspelled. I send the email.
The next day I awake to find another email to the effect that the identification numbers and my email address are incorrect. They politely request that I resend the correct information.
I send a third email which politely suggests that my email address is 1) correct and 2) the email address on my application which I am holding in my hand, lists every goddamn number I can find on the information packet and politely suggests that they select the three they feel most likely to meet their needs from the above, and sign off.
I receive a third email the next day. "Sorry about the 'incorrect' email address thing, that was our bad lolz," it tells me "Your numbers are still wrong by the way, but what they hey! we'll send a new modem. You should see it in about a month." I receive a new tracking number as well.
This afternoon I returned from a trying but satisfying day at work (five out of six classes, 280 tests to grade and 270 essays to proofreed and I did every damn one of them!) to find a non-delivery notice in my doorway. It's from the courier company. It politely informs me that the modem that was scheduled for delivery on the 11th could not be delivered today, and that it will be redelivered later this week. It lists the same tracking number from my first brush with YBB.
I am now the apparent lucky recipient of not one, but two Yahoo BB modems.
Or, at least they're waiting for me in the postal system somewhere. If any of you gentle readers would like a modem, give me a holler in a week or so. After all, I'll have an extra one or two lying around the place.
::whimper::
That will be all.
I play hockey/golf/football.
I do karate/tae kwon do/aikido.
I ski/swim/snowboard.
"Why?" comes the cry of my agonised students.
"Because that's just how English works," comes my agonised response.
I had a whole bunch of really, really nifty ideas for lj entries asault me right during the Great LJ Failure of '05, which, cruel fate, occurred on my Saturday morning. It's amazing how much one gets done when one's favorite source of entertainment is suddenly yanked out from beneath them. OTOH, my house is a total pit now, because once LJ got back online, I haven't done much else with my hour of free time each evening.
And now, Let's Enjoying the Japanese Life Together productions brings you The Modem Saga.
As some of you know, I am trying to get connected to Yahoo BB. I started the application process in early November. Cleverly, YBB arranged for my modem to be delivered the day after I left Japan for the States. As Japanese postal workers have a nasty habit of leaving undelivered parcels on the ground outside the apartment building of the addressee, I had a well-founded fear that my modem was about to become the property of someone who didn't deserve it, a la my Christmas gifts last year. So I arranged for a friend to monitor the sidewalk outside my apartment building for its delivery.
Of course, YBB is wise to the ways of the Japanese postal worker, and arranges for private couriers to deliver their modems. My friend grabbed the delivery slip. But woe, YBB modems are to be returned to their source if they aren't retrieved in two weeks from the attempted delivery date. In practical life terms, this means that my beautiful modem would have come and gone ten days before I made it back into Japan.
Luckily, my friend had a Japanese coworker call the courier service and explain my situation to them. (And what an effort it must have taken for this non-Japanese enabled friend to explain my situation to his functionally non-English enabled teacher. After all, the Japanese mind is not capable of processing such things as "No, it's not my modem. It's a friend's, she just can't pick it up now." But I digress.) The courier service agreed to redeliver my modem eight days after my return to Japan, and not a day before. This was irksome, because I'd been paying for the service since mid-December, and wouldn't actually get to use it for over a month.
Unfortunately, my friend told me the modem was being held at the post office. So on my second day back in the country, I took time off of work to march down, with stars in my eyes, to the post office, which closes at 3pm each day (the standard work day is over at 5pm), to retrieve my modem. The woman behind the counter didn't know what I was talking about. "We only hold mail for two weeks," she told me.
"Yes, but this is a special case. A teacher called and asked you to hold it longer."
"Do you have a delivery slip?"
"No, my friend's got it; he's currently on vacation." (It's here that I begin to worry about how sketchy I must sound.)
"Well, you're a teacher; what school do you work at?"
And damnation, I've named my school and fallen into her little trap before I realise it's been set for me. Remember, my friend had a teacher call the post office and explain my situation. Neither my friend, nor his teacher, works at my school.
The woman behind the counter says as much to me. "Do you know the name of the teacher who called?"
"No," I say. "My friend didn't say what it was." My sketchiness index has just shot through the roof. Remember, the Japanese mind is not capable of processing such things as "No, it wasn't my coworker. It was a friend's, who called for my sake." But I digress again.
So she called my Vice Principal, who knew nothing about this situation at all, and who will surely put me through the 3rd degree about it when I return. Remember, the Japanese mind is not capable of...you get the picture. I beat a hasty retreat from the post office.
Anyway, I ask my friend for clarification, and this is when he mentions that the courier service has the modem. But at least I now have a delivery date, courier name, and tracking number to gird myself with before reentering the fray.
Well, the delivery date came, and the delivery date went. Three days afterward, I gave the courier service a call. They had no clue what I was talking about. I gave them the tracking number. They had no clue what I was talking about. I explained my situation. They had no clue what I was talking about. Finally, it's explained that the modem was sent back to YBB after two weeks, as per policy.
"But you agreed to hold it until I returned back to Japan," I said. "I have the delivery date and tracking number right here."
"Yes, but it is policy to send the modem back after two weeks. You must talk to Yahoo BB."
So the next day I talk to Yahoo BB. I'm told to email them three separate identification numbers, my phone number, email address, name, and postal address. I do.
The next day I receive an email to the effect that two of the three identification numbers, my phone number, email address, and name are incorrect. The politely request that I resend the correct information.
I find a different set of identification numbers. I find the correct phone number (my not-yet-connected Yahoo BB phone number, not my bona fide reach-me-here phone number). I state that this is my email address, and that my 'name,' as they have it, is woefully misspelled. I send the email.
The next day I awake to find another email to the effect that the identification numbers and my email address are incorrect. They politely request that I resend the correct information.
I send a third email which politely suggests that my email address is 1) correct and 2) the email address on my application which I am holding in my hand, lists every goddamn number I can find on the information packet and politely suggests that they select the three they feel most likely to meet their needs from the above, and sign off.
I receive a third email the next day. "Sorry about the 'incorrect' email address thing, that was our bad lolz," it tells me "Your numbers are still wrong by the way, but what they hey! we'll send a new modem. You should see it in about a month." I receive a new tracking number as well.
This afternoon I returned from a trying but satisfying day at work (five out of six classes, 280 tests to grade and 270 essays to proofreed and I did every damn one of them!) to find a non-delivery notice in my doorway. It's from the courier company. It politely informs me that the modem that was scheduled for delivery on the 11th could not be delivered today, and that it will be redelivered later this week. It lists the same tracking number from my first brush with YBB.
I am now the apparent lucky recipient of not one, but two Yahoo BB modems.
Or, at least they're waiting for me in the postal system somewhere. If any of you gentle readers would like a modem, give me a holler in a week or so. After all, I'll have an extra one or two lying around the place.
::whimper::
That will be all.
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no subject
on 2005-01-18 04:02 pm (UTC)no subject
on 2005-01-18 04:43 pm (UTC)no subject
on 2005-01-20 12:26 am (UTC)