Who Rocks So Hard It's Like the 80s Never Died?

[akujunkan]

Awwww, yeah. That would be yours truly.

A group of 2nd year (now 3rd year) boys has been torturing me in class since last semester. They apparently covered the human health and sexuality unit in their pys ed class - an as with many words, the original Japanese terms for masturbation (which were never medical to begin with) have been replaced by a transliteration of the English/German original. I couldn't teach class or step outside the teacher's room without five or ten of the worst kids screaming Mah-Stah-Bey-Shun! and cackling like crack lunatics.

My previous JTE told me to ignore them, but she's gone now.

So I've been implementing my top secret weapon.

Which is shouting Macaroni! every time one of the kids comes up to me making rude gestures and pointing at me. Observe:

Kids: (hand motions) Mah-stah-bey-shun! Bwahahahaha!
Me: Macaroni. (Snicker)
Kids: Eh?
Me: MACARONI! BwahahahahHAHA!!
Kids: (getting scared) Mah-stah-bey... shun?
Me: MACARONI! BISCOTI! MACARONI!
Kids: Run away!!!!!

Take that, bastards.

One of them tried to redeem himself a few days ago by coming up to me and asking me to "Please kissing my nipples."
Me: What?
Kid: Jiru-sensei is please kissing my nipples.
Me: Huh?
Kid: My nip-po-rusu.
Me: Oh! You mean your neptunes! (points to own nipples.)
Kid: Ah! Yes. Please kissing my neptunes.

Can't wait till he grows up, moves to Tokyo, and tries to buy a foreign hostess.

Life is grand.

That will be all.

Comments

neptunes.. psshaw!

[bloody-american.livejournal.com]

dOOd you have got me giggling like a little crazy fool. MACARONI! BISCOTTI! AHAHahahahahahahahahaha! Oh boy. That is a classic. <3

*cough* Yea. Good times...

Why don't you ever kissing my neptunes?

[amasugiru.livejournal.com]

Huh... huh?!?

BTW, I didn't leave anything at your place, did I?

Best English Teacher EVER!!!

[teal-geezus.livejournal.com]

.....though, is it in your contract to teach these kids the wrong english term? *shrug* But how funny would it be if, in about a year or so, all of Japan is now calling them "neptunes"? Ha ha. That would rock all.

Re: Why don't you ever kissing my neptunes?

[akujunkan.livejournal.com]

Come to my house and we's kiss neptunes. Yes.

Btw, you left a tube of lip gloss (I think it's yours?) and an entire freaking bathroom :-)

Re: Best English Teacher EVER!!!

[akujunkan.livejournal.com]

Sekuhara isn't in my contract either, so I feel entirely justified.

Or, if you're gonna come on to me frat boy style, at least have the decency to sprout a few pubes first. That's all I ask, really.