akujunkan: (kisama)
[personal profile] akujunkan
DESPISE CHIHUAHUAS.

You know, I've never seen the appeal of the chihuahua, but I am an animal person. I love all animals, even the ones I don't "get." This includes Sammy, Landmom's daughter's ("Daughter") pet chihuahua.

Like all chihuahuas, Sammy is very territorial, which translates into lots and lots of barking whenever it notices I am in the vicinity. Over the past several years, I have steadily combated this with lots of dog treats, with the result that Sammy only raises hell every other time I enter or leave the room.

Daughter and her Fiance ("Fiance") went to some fancy dress regatta last night and left their three dogs with the landparents. Landmom was ambivalent, but Landdad loved it because he is a dog person and Sammy likes to sleep in the bed with people. When Landdad turned in, Sammy went upstairs and got in bed with him.

I went to bed at around midnight last night. I woke up this morning to find that Sammy had pushed the door open and crawled into bed with me. I booted him out, and in the process of doing so, rolled right into the steaming pile of shit he had just left between my new Egyptian cotton sheets.

I reacted as well as might be expected. My mood was not improved when I jumped out of bed and planted my foot right in another massive dump Sammy had taken on the floor sometime in the middle of the night.

At the final count, Sammy had taken seven shits in my Tower Stronghold, including two on my computer desk. Thank god I had put the computer on the dresser, because had I left it in its usual location, Daughter would have returned this afternoon to retrieve a collection of bloody dog parts instead of a whole, breathing chihuahua.

Daughter and I are on quite good terms, so I'm glad she came back while I was out buying cleaning supplies to try and remove the dog shits that are now ground into my otherwise pearly clean carpet.

Landmom, who was quite appalled by the whole situation, laundered my bed clothes for me while I was out. "Don't worry," she told me, "That dog won't be back here for a very long time."

DESPISE CHIHUAHUAS.

That will be all.
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July 2014

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