![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
Dai Nippon does it again.
On Monday past I was enigmatically told to wear a suit to work today. Yesterday I was told to dress warmly, and that I was to meet Oshida-san from the first floor promptly at 2:30.
Today I discover that my warmly-dressed suit-clad self is meeting Oshida-san from the first floor promptly at 2:30 in order to ride in a motorcycle side car and wave to bystanders in the traffic saftey parade. Which, while certainly of a high WTF magnitude, is at least more in keeping with my official job description than 99% of what I do here.
Two-thirty rolls around and I discover that I am now to ride in an official city hall car, due to the inclimate weather. I get into said official city hall car to discover that--get this--the vehicle in which I'm riding for the traffic saftey parade does not have seatbelts.
This little irony does not appear to register with either my city hall escort or my police escort.
I am then driven to the police station in said official city hall seatbelt-less car, where I discover that an ALT from the nearby town with which we've just merged is to take part as well. Everyone sweats bullets until he arrives, characteristically late. It is while waiting that I learn that what 'participating in a traffic saftey parade' really means is 'delivering a pre-written Japanese speech from the chief of police, and vice chair- and chairperson of the traffic saftey board to a city hall ambassador from the original city hall, the incorporated city hall, and the president of the giant company to which the city owes its existence (You wearing anything with a zipper on it? There's a 99% chance that we manufactured it), on live television.'
Which doesn't make a whole lot of sense when compared point by point to the information I'd been given previously, but then I suppose 'participating in a traffic saftey parade' is much less of a mouthful.
The ALT has apparently known about this presentation (parade?) for over two weeks. In fact, he's even prepared hiragana and romaji transliterations of the speech, which I have yet to see but which we are supposed to read in unison to each of the ambassadors before handing it over to them. And so on.
The ceremony starts. It's held next door to the police station, and includes speeches from many important city and police officials. In other words, it drags on interminably.
...Until one of the fifty members of the senior citizens' traffic saftey volunteer group faints from the heat and the stress of standing through all the abovementioned speeches. Then things pick up the pace. The ALT and I are handed the tubes containing our message and sent out to the citizens group's applause.
We embark to preach our message of traffic saftey in the official city hall seatbelt-less car. (Violation of Japanese traffic saftey law: check.) The driver promptly gets on his cell phone. (Violation of Japanese traffic saftey law: check.)
We arrive at city hall, where I unroll the tube and read the message for the first time, stumbling over a few bits (including the names), but otherwise perform admirably given the circumstances. Of course, TV cameras are there.
Then to the city hall of the incorporated town to repeat the process. This time I do not stumble over the lines. Alas, there are no TV cameras to capture my flawless execution (of course).
And finally to the mega-corporation, where we were at least greated by a reception of about twenty people. But not before the driver of our official city hall seatbelt-less car runs a red light. (Violation of Japanese traffic saftey law: check.) I should probably mention that the official city hall seatbelt-less car is broadcasting via loudspeaker a message to citizens to the effect that they should always wear seatbelts, drive considerately, refrain from cellphone use while driving, and obey all traffic laws carefully.
I conclude that our message of traffic saftey knows no traffic saftey law.
Good lord.
And from there back to the police station in our official city hall seatbelt-less car, having dutifully conveyed the importance of obeying all traffic statutes to the city's populace.
The ALT and I have coffee with the chief of police, who doesn't entirely seem to know what to do with us, but rallies to the occassion admirably. He also asks if we drive.Official answer: Yes. Unofficial answer: yes, but no thanks to the hassles your department gave me over the past six months. I have a little fun explaining to him that no, getting a bona fide Japanese driver's license is not easy for foreigners, and then we all put our heads together to try and figure out why American's can't just convert their licenses to Japanese ones like the citizens of most other countries can.
(Other odd bit: each chief of police in the prefecture, indeed all other parts of Japan where conditions allow for it, lives in a house attached to the station. Weird trivia tidbit for you, gentle readers.)
And then back to city hall, where it was just time for me to head home.
That will be all.
Today I discover that my warmly-dressed suit-clad self is meeting Oshida-san from the first floor promptly at 2:30 in order to ride in a motorcycle side car and wave to bystanders in the traffic saftey parade. Which, while certainly of a high WTF magnitude, is at least more in keeping with my official job description than 99% of what I do here.
Two-thirty rolls around and I discover that I am now to ride in an official city hall car, due to the inclimate weather. I get into said official city hall car to discover that--get this--the vehicle in which I'm riding for the traffic saftey parade does not have seatbelts.
This little irony does not appear to register with either my city hall escort or my police escort.
I am then driven to the police station in said official city hall seatbelt-less car, where I discover that an ALT from the nearby town with which we've just merged is to take part as well. Everyone sweats bullets until he arrives, characteristically late. It is while waiting that I learn that what 'participating in a traffic saftey parade' really means is 'delivering a pre-written Japanese speech from the chief of police, and vice chair- and chairperson of the traffic saftey board to a city hall ambassador from the original city hall, the incorporated city hall, and the president of the giant company to which the city owes its existence (You wearing anything with a zipper on it? There's a 99% chance that we manufactured it), on live television.'
Which doesn't make a whole lot of sense when compared point by point to the information I'd been given previously, but then I suppose 'participating in a traffic saftey parade' is much less of a mouthful.
The ALT has apparently known about this presentation (parade?) for over two weeks. In fact, he's even prepared hiragana and romaji transliterations of the speech, which I have yet to see but which we are supposed to read in unison to each of the ambassadors before handing it over to them. And so on.
The ceremony starts. It's held next door to the police station, and includes speeches from many important city and police officials. In other words, it drags on interminably.
...Until one of the fifty members of the senior citizens' traffic saftey volunteer group faints from the heat and the stress of standing through all the abovementioned speeches. Then things pick up the pace. The ALT and I are handed the tubes containing our message and sent out to the citizens group's applause.
We embark to preach our message of traffic saftey in the official city hall seatbelt-less car. (Violation of Japanese traffic saftey law: check.) The driver promptly gets on his cell phone. (Violation of Japanese traffic saftey law: check.)
We arrive at city hall, where I unroll the tube and read the message for the first time, stumbling over a few bits (including the names), but otherwise perform admirably given the circumstances. Of course, TV cameras are there.
Then to the city hall of the incorporated town to repeat the process. This time I do not stumble over the lines. Alas, there are no TV cameras to capture my flawless execution (of course).
And finally to the mega-corporation, where we were at least greated by a reception of about twenty people. But not before the driver of our official city hall seatbelt-less car runs a red light. (Violation of Japanese traffic saftey law: check.) I should probably mention that the official city hall seatbelt-less car is broadcasting via loudspeaker a message to citizens to the effect that they should always wear seatbelts, drive considerately, refrain from cellphone use while driving, and obey all traffic laws carefully.
I conclude that our message of traffic saftey knows no traffic saftey law.
Good lord.
And from there back to the police station in our official city hall seatbelt-less car, having dutifully conveyed the importance of obeying all traffic statutes to the city's populace.
The ALT and I have coffee with the chief of police, who doesn't entirely seem to know what to do with us, but rallies to the occassion admirably. He also asks if we drive.
(Other odd bit: each chief of police in the prefecture, indeed all other parts of Japan where conditions allow for it, lives in a house attached to the station. Weird trivia tidbit for you, gentle readers.)
And then back to city hall, where it was just time for me to head home.
That will be all.
no subject
Also, do you live in the city that makes YKK zippers? MAD AWESOME.
no subject
Also, do you live in the city that makes YKK zippers?
ピンポ～ン！ We've got the honsha, even. Supporting Your
SocksZipper (http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v107/Trismegistus/DSCF2577.jpg) Life.no subject
Well? Where's the links for us to see your grand efforts? And don't give me 'it's local tv' nonsense.
It's obvious why Americans can't convert their licenses - you
do everything backwardsdrive on the wrong side of the road.ps - Pete wants to know what 'saftey' is. He's asking if LJ has a spellchecker, and we mustn't have Engrish dictionary. Yep, he's a smartarse.
no subject
ps - Pete wants to know what 'saftey' is. He's asking if LJ has a spellchecker, and we mustn't have Engrish dictionary. Yep, he's a smartarse.
I would have thought the cut text heading and use of repetition as a narrative device would have clued him in. Unless you don't have context clues in Australia?
::ducks, runs::
no subject
no subject
Sometimes I wish I could have some skill at drawing... you have an interesting (full of idiots, yes, but interesting idiots IMHO) life that screams to be plastered in some realistic-looking manga... *sigh*