akujunkan: (ajk)
Long-time readers of this lj will be familiar with my many run ins with Japan's "health" system, of which this example is one of the country's crowning achievements in weirdness.

Of course, being back in Japan again means being health examined again.

So today I dutifully trotted down to the airstream trailers parked on the uni plaza and submitted myself to the same health check I had to take a mere eight months ago in order to be admitted.

Anyway. It turned out to be a lot less invasive than the health checks I'd undergone as a civil servant. No swallowing bromide. No vampire-worthy levels of blood drawn. No (see above). It looked like it would be over in the blink of an eye, but then I made the unfortunate mistake of informing a nurse that I was currently undergoing a certain biological process.

Now, American physicians often just make note of this and carry on, but not, apparently, their Japanese counterparts. The nurse told the head physician on duty, who handed me a plastic cup and urinalysis vial and told me to bring them back at my leisure. I mean, seriously.

This would NEVER FLY in America. NEVER.

So I'm now walking around with a slightly mushed paper cup (albeit one manufactured for actual use in urinalysis tests, not a dixie cup) and (rather paraphanelia-remininscent) plastic apparatus in my bag. Apparently the contamination they will undergo in there is less worrisome than the presense of some extra platelets. I'm having a much easier time getting over this than I'd anticipated, due in no small part to the fact that I was told to complete a urine test...eh, whenever and wherever I felt like it. I mean, doesn't that defeat a large part of the purpose?

Never change, Japan. Never change.

That will be all.
akujunkan: (kisama)
Why, oh god above, does this only ever happen to me? Other JETs only have to go in for the x-ray and temperature-taking. I, on the other hand, have been annually forced to endure the full battery of horrors only a medically FUBARed country like Japan has to offer. At least I managed to avoid the terror of the mat this time. I think they realised pushing me would not be a good idea after drawing so much blood.

Ah, the blood. They insisted on taking five vials of the stuff. Five. I was told that this was being done in order to ascertain my blood type (which is BS), but lo, that bit of information was helpfully not included in the checkup results, which I received today. Pity, as it's the one bit of health-related data I'd be interested in knowing.

The others I'm already aware of: no, I am not obese. Yes, my blood pressure is fine. No, I do not have diabetes. Nor do I have tuberculosis.

The results have helpfully informed me that I 'irregularities' requiring 'strict medical supervision' were noted during my chest x-ray. As I have yet to drop dead of a heart ailment in the two years they've been reporting such results, I rather think I'm fine. (I would also like to suggest that 'irregularities' is perhaps a rather vague word to use medically. One longs to know what was irregular, and how.)

Although, they thankfully avoided the unfortunate mistake of the first check-up, which had warning lights lit up like Christmas. Of course, that will happen when you try to assess the health of a twenty-something American female against a forty-something Japanese female rubric.

That will be all.

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akujunkan

July 2014

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