akujunkan: (Default)
akujunkan ([personal profile] akujunkan) wrote2004-06-23 01:17 am

These things happen to me...

...so that they don't have to happen to you. (Or, reason 1,832 Why I Must Quit This Shitheap Apartment).

A typhoon blew through yesterday. This being the (statisically proven) least natural disaster-prone prefecture in all of Japan, the typhoon meant lots of heavy winds and little else. It didn't even rain.

It's 12:30 in the morning, and I'm in my bathroom preparing for bed when the roof blows away. Now, this sort of thing is scary enough to make you shit yourself, but ironically I happened to be taking care of that at the time, so disaster was thankfully averted.

So yes, there's a trapdoor in my bathroom ceiling that leads to the roof. You can open it from the roof, but there's no way to secure it from inside the fucking apartment. Masters of architectural planning, these Japanese.

Last night I had dreams that I took a flashlight, went up through the trapdoor, and found the rotting corpses of all the people my landlord had killed. I almost wish this was reality - at least then my employers could no longer argue that there are valid reasons Why I Should Not Live Here.

That will be all.

[identity profile] shoebucket.livejournal.com 2004-06-22 03:23 pm (UTC)(link)
so... you have no roof? I'm confuzzled.

O.o

[identity profile] teal-geezus.livejournal.com 2004-06-22 06:34 pm (UTC)(link)
...........................LMFAO!!! I'm sorry. I know it's not SUPPOSED to be funny....but if you were in my head right now....with THESE mental pictures......oh man....the hilarity! HA HA! *cough* I mean....That sucks...

[identity profile] redtweed.livejournal.com 2004-06-22 09:30 pm (UTC)(link)
Ouch.

When you comin' home?

[identity profile] akujunkan.livejournal.com 2004-06-23 01:02 am (UTC)(link)
No, I went up and put the roof back in place. However, you can only lock it from the roof of the apartment, but not from within the apartment itself.

Makes me feel real safe at night, that one does...

Re: O.o

[identity profile] akujunkan.livejournal.com 2004-06-23 01:04 am (UTC)(link)
Damn you!

No, I thought it was pretty funny too, after the EXTREME PANIC subsided. Like I said, these things happen to me so they don't have to occur to anyone else. I'm like a lightening rod for shit.

[identity profile] akujunkan.livejournal.com 2004-06-23 01:04 am (UTC)(link)
Dude, when are you coming to Japan?

[identity profile] metal-dog5.livejournal.com 2004-06-23 04:32 am (UTC)(link)
So yes, there's a trapdoor in my bathroom ceiling that leads to the roof.

Secret Ninja Exit?

um...

[identity profile] teal-geezus.livejournal.com 2004-06-23 01:41 pm (UTC)(link)
In red's defence....you don't make the country SOUND like a wonderful place to reside..."Come here and get fucked by the government, poop on mats, and lose your roof. No really...It's fun!.......please?"

:) ;) :P ;P Hee hee.

Re: um...

[identity profile] akujunkan.livejournal.com 2004-06-24 01:02 am (UTC)(link)
Ah, but it is the land of doujinshi, inexpensive sushi, and hawt boizzz. How can you resist?

You know you'd be over you if you had the chance...

}:>

[identity profile] akujunkan.livejournal.com 2004-06-24 01:03 am (UTC)(link)
Secret Ninja Exit?

Dude, if there were ninjas I would already have trapped them and forced them into my service to kill my landlord.

[identity profile] metal-dog5.livejournal.com 2004-06-24 02:55 pm (UTC)(link)
You have to check under your kotatsu, that'll be where they're hiding. (They've been there for a while; going through your mail and blocking up the toilet. Ninjas are sneaky like that.)

[identity profile] akujunkan.livejournal.com 2004-06-26 01:58 pm (UTC)(link)
Only thing there's room for under my kotatsu is my lower extremites. So no dice there. And I thought the person going through my mail and blocking up the toilet was the landlord. Don't be telling me he's a ninja now...