Believe me, if a guy is even unreasonably sure his pants are coming down, he's wearing a newer pair of boxers. I hate boxer briefs 1. Because they look gay and 2. no instant access to my junk.

In my poetry class we were talking about semicolons today and the quote from Kurt Vonnegut came to mind: "Avoid using semicolons. they are transvestite hermaphrodites...all they do is show you've been to college."